The Big Issue, or The Porkers Lament

Not my best work if I’m honest, but one of my favourites for its honesty. Too many people apply cliches & make judgements based on size, or anything else for that matter! Never judge a book by the size of it’s arse people!!
Measure love in weight & I’ve more than most to give

Measure fun in lbs & oz’s – oh what a life I live!
Big & bubbly, larger than life
Homely & cuddly, the perfect wife?

Who started all this cliche’d crap?
Did they think we’d all laugh & clap
Big is beautiful, so they say
But I’m just me, whatever I weigh!

I’ve no desire to be stick thin
That must bring its own chagrin
But judge me for me, not my size
This bubbly girl still has a grumpy side!

Whilst the stereotypes really get my goat
I also know you could make a tent from my coat
I’ve heard them all, they’re oh so funny
And yes, I know I’ll never make a playboy bunny

So now enough with the cliches, and the jokes
Cos I think I just heard the oven timer go….

©Lauren Walker 2016

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