30/12/16 – Day 146 – 2017, here we come


Day 146


“So what are you doing for New Year?”

You’ve been asked, I know you have. Everyone has. Friends, family, checkout operators, they all want to know what you’ll be doing when Big Ben strikes 12. For some people it’ll be a massive celebration, others won’t even be awake for it. Some situations will be joyful, others the birth of 2017 will seem bleak & hopeless.

For me, it’s the continuation of an epic journey that started 146 days ago. I will most certainly be welcoming the New Year with hope and renewed thankfulness & appreciation for life, family & friends.

Hopefully, 2017 will bring me to my target BMI of 40 so my lovely surgeon will replace my knackered knees, these ones are getting well past their use by date! That of course will mean that my weight will be under control too, and the prospect of that makes my little buggered heart leap with joy. (Don’t look at the figure above too close though! Shhh, it was Christmas!) To be honest, my new start won’t be midnight on December 31st, I’ve already had it, the day of my HF diagnosis. Nearly dying is a pretty good motivator to turn over a new leaf!

January also brings 2 events, my daughter H’s birthday, and, the following day, the anniversary of our black lab Dublin’s trip over to the Rainbow Bridge. H, scarily, will be 15! Those 15 years have flown literally in the blink of an eye, especially when compared to her birth, which was 12 days after my due date, took 42 hours, and ended in me forcing a 10lb 11oz, 56cm monster out of my vagina. She’s an only child.

15 is all the more scary because I remember being 15, hell I still think I am 15! I still remember how I thought, the emotional rollercoaster of hormones, & boys, & Take That. If her 15th year is anything like mine was, she’s in for a hell of a year, and I’m not bloody looking forward to it!

Losing Dublin hit us all hard this year, harder than I thought it would if I’m honest. He was such an integral part of our family unit. Grumpy, deadpan, awkward, wonderful, a human trapped in a Labrador’s body. If he could have spoken I think most sentences would have started “when I were a pup”! His absence has been felt daily by all of us, and by more besides. I can feel the tears forming just writing this. He was so very special.

So, to answer the original question, at the chimes of Big Ben I will be home in my pj’s, drinking Baileys, thanking my lucky stars for my incredible family & friends, and for the amazing support group I have now found. And in 2017, I will be living.


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