24/8/16 – Day 19 – I’m living with heart failure.


Day 19


I’m living with heart failure. Three weeks today I found out about my buggered heart. Today I found out about my buggered knees. And had a gigantic needle shoved in one of them. No biggie.

So my weight has helped my arthritis wear away my minisci and cartlidge to the point of no return. New knees needed, but not till you’ve lost another 8 stone. No pressure then. I say another, because on Monday I hit a 2 stone loss. Then I had a takeaway to celebrate, but hey, I got there once and I can do it again! Around day 3 or 4 I stopped crying & decided to pull on my positive pants. They slipped off today, but they’ll be back on tomorrow. My buggered heart is not a positive thing, but the fact it didn’t totally give up on me is. My buggered knees; also not positive, (especially as it has the HUGE potential for beating myself up for being fat & causing it, but that’s another diary entry) but they won’t kill me, I’ll just be a bit slower. Or on wheels maybe someday. But I’ll still be here.

Debating writing a blog. Not sure if anyone would read it. Not sure if I want anyone to read it. There’s decisive for ya.


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